The next couple of weeks mark a significant transition

in the lives of parents with young children everywhere:

the start of a new school year.

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As kids brace themselves for the return of

early wake-ups, enforced bedtimes & homework,

parents rejoice at the resumption of structure, predictability & shared oversight.

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‘Tis the season for long lists of school supplies that will barely be used,

parent chat huddles over who’s in whose class this year,

new expectations, responsibilities & privileges,

backpack, lunch bag and sneaker selections,

new schedules, locker combos & crushes,

new drop off & pickup line logistics,

a new beginning all around.

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So why wait 4 months to unlock

the ambition, intention and self-reflection

that typically marks the start of a new calendar year?

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The start of the school year presents

a comparable moment to

pause, reflect, & plan.

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So let’s get a jump start,

for you & your kiddos!

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(Note: the steps that follow include self-work and options to engage your elementary, middle and high school kids.

Use your discretion in applying the suggested approaches based on age, grade and development.)

STEP 1: Look backwards to go forward

The best way to start a forward-looking plan for this school year

is with a backward-looking assessment of last school year.

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Start with a quick self-reflective retrospective

inspired by your calendar.

• What were the moments or activities that brought the most joy, connection & presence to your week? To the family?
• Were there activities, times of day, moments that you and/or they looked forward to?
• Which routines or habits were most conducive to positive outcomes and experiences?
• What were the pinch points or recurring stress-drivers in the week?
• Which routines, times of day or schedule variants led to the most stress or conflict?
• Were there any activities, times of day, obligations that you or your family dreaded?
• What was something you wanted to prioritize (personally and/or as a family), but never managed to make happen?
• Were there moments in the day, week or year when you felt overwhelmed or disconnected from your goals?
• What are you most proud of having prioritized and accomplished?

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Use these reflections to identify

areas of growth and opportunities for change.

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Note the most challenging times of the day or week – logistically, emotionally, otherwise…

How can those be managed better, with less stress, greater intention or more support?

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Write down ideas of what you can stop, start and continue.

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Once you’ve answered

these questions for yourself,

incorporate your family’s POV.

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Prompt your partner to do the same exercise

to get an independent take on the family flow and

a fresh source of ideas for advantageous adjustments.

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Now get your kids in the mix.

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Modeling and facilitating

a reflective conversation with your kids

is a great way to cultivate self-awareness,

instill accountability and encourage responsibility,

not to mention get them thinking about their goals and intentions.

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If you have more than one kiddo,

try to have this conversation one-on-one.

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1. Set the scene.

Often kids are more engaged and open

outside of a conventional face-to-face format.

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Depressurize the dynamic by discussing these topics

while playing a low-key board game,

during a walk or drive

or over a snack.

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2. Start with the positive.

Ask questions that prompt positive

feelings & memories of last school year.

• “Thinking back to last school year, what are some things you/we did that you enjoyed?"
• “What were some of the classes or activities you really liked”?
• “Is there something that you looked forward to every week?”

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(Pro tip: asking for a “favorite” can impose unintended stress,

so present pulse check questions like this in a way that

leaves room for multiple answers)

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3. Explore the challenges.

Transition into tougher topics.

• “Were there any activities you/we did last year that you didn’t like?”
• “Was there a specific day or activity that was particularly stressful?”
• “Any thoughts on how to approach homework this year?”

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If your kiddo is struggling to share,

mention something that you found difficult

to spark their ideas without leading the witness.

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4. Rate it.

List out noteworthy activities, routines and times of day.
(Extracurriculars, HW time, bedtime, weekday mornings…)

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Ask your child to give a

Thumbs Up,

Thumbs Down or

Thumbs Middle for each.

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Prompt them to share a simple explanation for each rating.

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Take it a step further:

“I’m not making any promises here, but if it were only up to you…

What’s one thing you would want to add for this year

one thing you definitely want to keep, and

one thing you want to stop doing?”

STEP 2: Look forward to go forward

Think ahead to 10 months from now.

You’ve pulled off spirit days, teacher gifts, birthday parties and allll the projects

you’ve sat on the sidelines for 1700 hours of practice & games

you’ve choreographed a complex web of extracurriculars,

your children are wrapping up another grade…

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And what about you?

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What do you want to be different about yourself and

your life heading into next summer?

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New job

new hobby

new skillset

new attitude

new opportunities?

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More grounded

more rested

more active

more social?

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Less doing

less hurried

less worried

less distracted?

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Based on how you want your life to look

at the end of this school year,

set one or two priority goals.

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Make each SMART by defining the goal in a way that is

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

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For example, if you want to be more present, a SMART goal could be:

technology-free family dinners at least 4 nights per week.

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Bonus points for phrasing it

as an Implementation Intention​

and scheduling it into your calendar.

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Work with your kid(s) to set their goal(s) for the year too.

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Each goal should be achievable with effort and consistency &

it should be less about a quantitative metric (like a grade or score)

and more about a learning objective (mastering a new skill, building a new habit).

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Later, if your child is ready to take it a bit further,

circle back to the goal and encourage an action plan.

• “What do you think it will take to achieve your goal?”
• “Are there any habits or routines that would help you achieve your goal?”
• “What are some things that could get in the way of achieving your goal?”
• “How will you know when you’re making progress towards your goal?“
• “How can you keep track of your progress?”

Going through this exercise will help them

connect the dots between their actions and their goals

identify the behaviors & decisions that are / are not conducive and

develop a sense of agency and intention around what they want for themselves.

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Winner winner school night dinner.

STEP 3: Set an Intention

An intention is something

you want to do AND plan to do.

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Broader than a goal, an intention

is a way of being in the world,

that is rooted in your values

and tied to a purpose.

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Ask yourself:

• “How do I want to feel this year?
• “How do I want to live?”
• "What qualities and values do I want to embody?”
• "How do I want to relate to others and the world around me?”

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Choose a Word of the Year (WOTY)

that represents this approach –

a single word that captures

your wishes, attitude & intention

and sets the tone for the year you envision.

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The word of the year can be a noun:

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Or an adjective:

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Or it can be a verb:

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The only requirement is that you own it, embody it and be inspired by it.

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Encourage your child to decide on a Word of the Year too.

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Walk the talk.

It’s one thing to set an intention

and another thing to be intentional.

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An intention should serve as an

accountability mechanism

and a north star.

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When you or your child is considering what to do in a particular situation

or you’re debriefing on something that already happened,

your intention provides a built-in benchmark

to evaluate against.

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• Does this action or decision align with my/your intention?
• Does it bring you/me closer to the intention or move you/me further away from it?
• If you think about this situation through the lens of your intention, what would that guide you to do, think, feel?

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Get crafty

The more you and your kiddo revisit your intentions,

the more they become ingrained

in your consciousness.

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Having a visual representation of your WOTY

is a great way to help make it stick.

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Tap into your creative side and work with your kids

to design word art or a vision board

that showcases their WOTY.

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Hang it up in their bedroom or in the kitchen

as a daily call to action/intention.

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For older kids that have crossed over the digital divide,

use Canva or another graphic design tool

to create a digital wallpaper

featuring their WOTY.

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Consider other ways to keep the WOTY top of mind:

• sticky note on the bathroom mirror
• occasional lunchbox notes
• cover of the daily planner
• daily affirmations or
• a morning mantra.

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The more you incorporate your WOTYs into your daily life,

the easier it will be to intentionally live into them.

STEP 4: Make it Matter

In order to make this pre-work meaningful,

you’ve got to bake it into your calendar and routines.

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Level up your Morning and Evening Routines

Design a morning routine that

sets a positive, intentional tone for the day:

• review the day’s schedule
• highlight opportunities to make progress on a goal
• repeat a morning mantra that incorporates your WOTY

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In the evening,

establish a wind-down routine

that ritualizes a family-friendly debrief.

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This creates space to:

• reflect on the day
• share achievements & misses
• identify areas for improvement &
• celebrate individual & collective wins

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Gently probe any missteps

or personal disappointments

in the context of that person’s intention.

• “If you/I had approached it with WOTY in mind, what could that have looked like?”
• “What would you/I have done differently?”

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This approach reinforces the intention,

builds the muscle of accountability &

sets the habit of self-reflection.

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Create a shared Family Calendar

Whether digital or actual,

a shared family calendar is a

helpful tool for staying organized &

keeping everyone on the same page

(unless you like being the only one

who knows who needs to

be where and when?).

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Use the Dream Calendar Setup Guide to

blueprint a family calendar

that honors your values &

protects your priorities.

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Protect and highlight times blocked out for

the family experiences that matter most to your kids

(game nights, movie nights, family fun days and trips)

and mark time for conspicious self-care and passion projects.

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Check in & track

Schedule monthly family meetings over a favorite meal

to encourage feedback on what is working well and

where there is tension or stress around

certain expectations and routines.

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Welcome feedback and model a collaborative approach

• Is there something we’re doing that we thought would work well, but isn’t?
• Is there a particular part of the week that is sparking joy? Triggering stress?

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Then, invite everyone to share progress on their gaols.

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Note, I said everyone.

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This is not just a check-in on your kids’ goals,

it’s an opportunity for them to hold you accountable to yours too,

and to learn from how you own and approach setbacks and successes.

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Modeling flexibility is key.

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Life is unpredictable,

and flexibility is essential

to maintain consistency with our commitments.

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The earlier your kids learn that, the better.

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Don’t be afraid to adjust your goals or routines out loud.

If something isn’t working, encourage and demonstrate self-reflection.

• I wonder why my progress is slower than expected…
• I’m going to start doing X instead of Y to see if that helps…
• This routine is harder to stick to than I thought. I think it’s because…

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Building this practice – in yourself and your kids – is invaluable

to build the skill of self-calibration and experimentation

to encourage goals to be adjusted, not abandoned &

to ensure setbacks don’t impact self-esteem.

January 1st is a traditional trigger to set goals and resolutions because

the start of the year provides a convenient & symbolic marker of time.

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A new school year presents a fresh start too.

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So let’s make the most of it!

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Instead of waiting 4+ months for the

next new year to roll around,

resolve to make this one

what you want it to be.

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Your life and schedule are

going to be tossed in a blender anyway,

you might as well decide what kind of smoothie you’re having.

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If this approach feels like a lot for your fam, adjust accordingly.

If you have never done resolutions

or goal-setting with your kids,

don’t try to implement

this all at once…

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You’ll drown in a sea of eyerolls.

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Go through the full process for yourself

and with your kids, start simpler:

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1. Make an attempt at the retrospective in Step 1

to help them feel included and heard

in your planning for the year ahead.

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2. Work with them to set a WOTY and

turn it into a visual and a mantra or affirmation.

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This will give you a shared baseline for discussing goals & intentions

and evaluating situations & behaviors as the year progresses.

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3. Develop a shared calendar that includes

everyone’s schedule and commitments.

If only for your own damn sanity.

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This abbreviated approach will

give you a solid start to the school year and

a solid foundation come January to undertake

a more robust intention and goal-setting process.

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After all, why limit

intention-setting and resolutions

to one new year, when you can do it for two?!

Do you have any start-of-the-school year rituals, routines or pro-tips you swear by?

I’d love to hear about them and share them out with fellow subscribers!

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And let me know by replying to this email…

what’s your WOTY?!

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Enjoy the home stretch of summer and Happy New Year!

Nicole

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