As a high-performing individual with multiple non-negotiable roles

(executive or founder, parent, caretaker, adult…)

you function at a fairly high baseline

on any given day of the week.

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So when external circumstances generate additional demands —

whether it’s the start of the school year, the holiday season,

the month when everyone in your family has a birthday,

performance review or budget season,

an upcoming board meeting

a fundraising road show —

it’s crunch time.

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Your baseline gets pretty close to (if not just above) capacity

and it can be easy to slip into Overwhelm.

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Overwhelm sets in when you get swallowed

by a feeling that you can’t get it all done,

like every minute is accounted for and

the demands seem never-ending.

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How do you know when you're in Overwhelm?

• You’ve got an internal countdown clock and a sense of desperation.
• You’re “just getting through” the next __ hours, days or weeks.
• You’ve begun to compromise on your usual non-negotiables.
• You’ve slipped out of habits and routines that you value.
• You feel a loss of control, and a sense of helplessness.

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In Atlas of the Heart,​

Brene Brown defines Overwhelm as:

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This is different from super-stressed.

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When you’re stressed, you can still function.

When you’re overwhelmed, you can’t function,

the best you can do is survive and “get through”.

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So during crunch time,

the goal is to manage the stress

in order to avoid slipping into Overwhelm.

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In this week’s issue

4 strategies to avoid Overwhelm

so you can get through crunch times

without getting sucked into survival mode.

1: Turn your calendar into an early warning system

When crunch time hits,

it’s easy to get caught up in doing and

forget to make time for being, reflecting & adjusting.

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But without that awareness,

overwhelm can sneak up on you

and situational survival mode can set in.

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Maybe you’re dialed into your early indicators of high stress:

• you violate your own boundaries,
• you’re more short-tempered than usual,
• you slip on your food, drink or exercise habits,
• you revert to familiar numbing or avoidance behaviors

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If you know what your early warning signs, that awareness is huge.

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If you’re not aware of your early indicators,

pause for a moment of self-exploration:

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Attuning yourself to these early internal indicators

can help you take the steps necessary to

avoid the onset of overwhelm.

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And you don’t have to rely on awareness alone.

You can implement a system that will raise the flag for you.

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What to do: Create a visual audit & alert

By color-coding your calendar according to role and function,

you can create a visual audit that provides an

early indicator of potential overwhelm.

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Think about the buckets that you pour your time into —

the things you want to and have to spend time on —

and assign a different color to each.

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Some options include:

• Household Admin
• Work meetings
• Creative time
• Family time
• Deep work
• Parenting
• Self-care
• Learning
• Exercise

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Color code your calendar accordingly.

Ideally it should look like a bit of a rainbow.

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Time won’t be evenly divided –

there will be some dominant hues –

but all of the colors should be represented.

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Having this visual enables you to see when life is getting out of alignment.

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When crunch time hits,

some colors will flood the space

and other colors will be crowded out

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And a calendar that is out of whack means that life is out of whack too.

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That color-flooding is an early warning of impending overwhelm.

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The colors also indicate what adjustments to make

to regain your alignment and avoid Overwhelm:

rediscover your rainbow.

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Dial down on the activities or functions that are over-represented

and reallocate time to the activities or functions that are under-represented.

2: Make the most of what you have

During crunch time, things can get real slippery real fast.

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Your stress level is rising,

you’re scrambling to keep up,

and you're feeling the onset of overwhelm.

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Desperate to prevent yourself from drowning,

you start letting tasks & obligations

take over every minute of the day.

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“Just another” email or call…

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You think that helps,

but really you’re in a flooding room and you're

mopping up the water instead of turning off the faucet.

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You’re not giving yourself time to breathe,

much less get your bearings.

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No matter how busy you are,

there are pockets of time

that you can claim.

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It’s when we start treating those pockets like stop gaps

that you risk drowning in Overwhelm.

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Even if you can only carve out

5 minutes of the day,

claim it for yourself.

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One of the triggers of Overwhelm is a sense of helplessness –

the belief that you have no power to change your situation.

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Claiming even those 5 minutes for yourself

is a valuable reminder that you do

have that power and you can

avoid Overwhelm.

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What to do: Make a menu

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Create a menu of things to do

in any pocket of time that

you're able to claim.

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1. Write down intervals of time: 2 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15…20…

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2. For each interval,

create a menu of options

of things you can do in that amount of time to

turn down the stress level and step back from the brink of Overwhelm.

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2 minutes of stillness

5 minutes of doodling

10 minutes of stretching

A 15 minute walk-n-talk…

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Challenge yourself to come up with 2 options for each time frame.

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3. Keep the menu on your phone,

laminate it on your desk, hell,

tattoo it on your arm...

whatever works to keep it top of mind.

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That way, when you find yourself with some unclaimed time,

you don’t “just do” something for someone else,

you do something intentional for yourself.

3: Wear One Hat at a Time

No one is expecting you

to be a superhero,

except yourself.

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And it’s that expectation

that sets you up

for Overwhelm.

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When things get super busy,

our first instinct is often to scramble to fit it all in

jamming work emails into the morning routine (and then snapping at your kid)

prepping for a call while helping with homework (and meeting a question with frustration).

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The thing is you can’t do it all at once with grace… no one can,

(except Elastigirl, who can field a call about lost high tops​

​while chasing down and rescuing a runaway train)

and your continual efforts to do so,

while noble, lead to Overwhelm.

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Yes, you can multitask, we all can.

But you shouldn’t.

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Multitasking reduces productivity​

​compromises long and short-term memory​

and significantly increases your stress levels.

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It’s ok to wear one hat at a time.

In fact, it’s an act of self-preservation.

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What to do: Eliminate overlaps

Avoid the fragmentation that comes from trying

to straddle two different roles at one time

by designating specific times of the day

for work and for family, separately.

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During crunch times, dial into to the signs

that you’re starting to slide

into a blended approach.

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If you’re looking at your list and thinking

“I’ll just do this while

I’m doing that…”

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Pause.

(Does anyone else hear those alarm bells?)

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That’s how Overwhelm sets in.

You’re setting yourself up to struggle or fail.

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Come up with a new plan that

lets you do one thing at a time

so you can get through the crunch

with your sanity and standards intact.

4: Give Yourself Grace

You’re a high-performing individual juggling multiple non-negotiable roles.

You operate at such a high level during regular-busy times,

that it’s hard to absorb more when crunch time kicks in.

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Hear this:

That is not “hard for you” …

It's HARD.

Period.

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Give yourself some grace.

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What to do: Get perspective

Practice self-compassion by reminding yourself that:

• This is a challenging (and temporary) period
• It’s okay not to be able to do it all
• You’re a total badass.

It’s true.

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Take 10 minutes to write down

everything you are holding, doing, juggling right now

and everything that you’ve accomplished in the past week or month.

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Refer back to your calendar to make sure you capture as much as possible.

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Now marvel at what you wrote.

That’s a long fucking list.

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You’re amazing.

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Honor that in order to honor yourself.

If you’re in a crunch time right now,

you’re not alone and

you've got this.

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I'm always here if you need to vent or

want a thought partner to help navigate through.

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You can respond to this email or schedule a chat.

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I'd love to hear what you have on your plate &

help lighten the load so you don't

end up in Overwhelm.

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xx Nicole

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